


Right Now Is All We Have

by allthingskakashi



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hatake Kakashi Has Issues, Hatake Kakashi Is Trying, Hatake Kakashi Needs a Hug, Hatake Kakashi is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25110934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthingskakashi/pseuds/allthingskakashi
Summary: Kakashi comes back from a mission and something seems to bother him. But then something happens that makes that night unforgettable.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 140





	Right Now Is All We Have

You're awakened by the feeling of something plopping down on the mattress, filling up the empty space beside you.

You open your eyes and squint in the dark, as an arm drapes over your stomach.

"Kakashi..." you groan.. "Sorry i fell asleep waiting"

Kakashi lays silent and motionless beside you, face buried down into the bed. The weight of his arm on your stomach makes you unable to move. You plop yourself up against the pillow and his arm falls to your thighs. You check the time on clock on the bedstand, it reads 2:06 a.m.

You look at the man beside you, looking so weary as if he's resting his body after ages, which he probably is. The black vest he's wearing reveals the many wounds and bruises on his arms.

It pained you to see Kakashi like this, but it was something you had to get used to.

You place one hand on his head and start softly stroking his silvery hair, rubbing his back gently with your other hand.

"Tough mission?" you ask, your voice tender.

Kakashi stays quiet, putting his arm around your waist and pulling you closer. You know it means yes.

He was gone for one whole week, sent to pursue an enemy. The mission was supposed to be over in three days but it stretched on. You were worried sick but the Hokage had assured you that everything was fine. But it still hadn't pacified the restlessness in you. Who knows what they had to do? Maybe Kakashi had to kill someone, maybe his team lost a member... You didn't wanna ask yet.

You continue rubbing his back, trying to soothe him as much as you can. His muscles seem to relax under your touch.

"Did you eat yet? I put your food in the oven so it stays warm, I wasn't sure when you'd be back"

Kakashi still doesn't say anything. By the looks of it, he hasn't showered yet so he probably hasn't eaten. This is starting to worry you now. This wasn't the first time Kakashi returned from a mission so... drained. Not just physically but emotionally as well. You hated what these missions did to him. But there was nothing you could do. All the horrible possibilities about what may have happened swarms inside your head, making you nauseous.

"Kakashi... You're worrying me. Let me fix up your wounds at least" you say, basically to the dark now, your voice pleading.

Kakashi stirs, taking his time lifting up his head to look at you. You gaze at what you can make of his face in the light coming from the streets through the window.

His otherwise beautiful face looks sunken, eyes marked with dark circles under them. Dirt and sweat are smeared across the visible areas of his face, streaks of dried blood on his forehead.

Your heart sinks, making your eyes well up.

"Kakashi..."

You slide down on the bed and pull Kakashi's face to your chest, holding him tight. You plant a few kisses on the top of his head. He puts his other arm around you, gripping you with both arms.

You stay that way for a long time, in complete silence. Nothing but the sound of the clock ticking away.

"Y/n.."

Kakashi says after a while, against your chest. The tone of his voice makes you anxious.

"Why do you care so much about me? I am not worthy of it."

The sudden statement takes you by surprise. But this wasn't the first time Kakashi said something like this either. You try to suppress the quiver in your voice and speak, keeping your tone firm.

" I care about you because i love you. And i love you because you deserve every ounce of love in the world."

He's silent but you know he's listening, so you go on.

"I know you don't like to think so, but i do. You can try pushing me away as much as you want, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here and hold you and keep holding you until you realise that you ARE worthy. Of happiness, of love and of everything you think you aren't worthy of."

Kakashi's head sinks further into your body.

"I don't know what happened in your mission Kakashi..", you continue "but you aren't responsible for it. Okay? You're an excellent shinobi and an even better person and i know you care deeply about your comrades and would give your life for them. So no matter what happened... It's not your fault." you speak into his ear, holding him close the whole time.

You feel worn out from trying to sound strong and not allowing yourself to simply break down. But you know you need to be strong right now, for Kakashi. You need to be his shoulder to lean on.

Kakashi is quiet again, half of his body wrapped around you. His grip is so firm, like you're made of dust and you'd slip through if he didn't hold you tight. He doesn't say anything for so long you think he's fallen asleep. You rest your chin on his head, every cell in your body overflowing with love for him. _My baby, my beautiful, beautiful baby._

You're about to doze off too, the familiar feel of Kakashi beside you after so long gives you the comfort that was missing all these days and you feel at peace inside, like you can actually sleep again.

"Y/n.." Kakashi's soft voice permeates through the foggy thoughts of your drowse. You open your eyes.

" Marry me."

You're fully awake now, all your senses heightened. Did you hear that right? Or are you still in a trance? You lift your chin away from over his head and try to look at his face, wondering if he's murmuring in his sleep.

"W-What?" you ask, feeling stunned.

Kakashi looks up at you and speaks in a soft, clear tone. " Marry me, Y/n."

You are dumbstruck. No word or sound escapes your mouth. You look at him, stupefied.

Kakashi unwraps himself away from you and quickly gets up with a jump in a hurry, turning the bedside lamp on and hastily disappearing from the room.

You sit upright on the bed now, neither your body nor your mind functioning. You wait, unsure of what's happening.

Kakashi scurries back into the room in a few seconds. You notice him holding a tiny blue velvety box in hand. He hurries on to the bed, and sits facing you, one leg folded and the other hanging by the side of the bed. He takes your hands in his, his tone is urgent, nervous. He speaks so fast you're having trouble keeping up.

"Y/n, i was going to wait for later to do this, think of something special to do for you, maybe buy you some flowers, I don't know, I'm not good at this and I don't know how someone like you ever fell for someone like me but you're the biggest blessing in my life, you're all i have and I don't want to lose you. You're the only thing standing between me and the insanity that would've consumed me if it weren't for you. I was going to wait but--

Kakashi lets out a heave, out of breath from speaking so much so fast. He pulls down his mask, unveiling his face which is ridden with so many emotions. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out, recomposing himself, and squeezes your hands.

Your heart is so full, you wait for him to finish just so you can kiss him. You realise your cheeks are damp with a steadily flowing stream of tears.

Kakashi continues, speaking slowly in a clear voice now.

"I was going to wait but I don't want to wait any longer. There's no knowing whether I'll live tomorrow, all i have is now and right now, i am lucky enough to be here with you, to be loved by you.. and I want to let you know how much you mean to me, right now. I..I love you Y/n. I don't want to lose you.. I don't know how many years of life fate has in store for me, i always thought I'd die young but i made it till here and I'm glad i did because i found you, and i want to spend whatever days i have remaining, with you. Loving you, and allowing myself to be loved by you."

Kakashi takes a ring out of the box with slightly trembling hands and clasps both your hands in both of his, looking into your eyes with a piercingly earnest gaze.

"So will you ma-- Oh wait, I'm sorry" ,he shakes his head, fumbling nervously. He hurriedly gets down to the floor to kneel on one knee, making sure he's doing this right.

You chuckle at this, your vision blurry through your tears. He's smiling too, eyes shining bright. There's hope in them now and not just sorrow. He kneels on the floor, holding your hand in one hand, and the ring in the other. You're both grinning at each other like idiots now.

" So will you marry me, Y/n?"


End file.
